Postnatal body insecurities are still a massive issue but like anything, we are able to let them go and love ourselves just as we are with a little reflection and altering of how we are thinking. This post is my personal story about my own insecurities after having my daughter and how I am learning to overcome them and love myself. I also truly hope to help many of you who may be experiencing similar insecurities. Please read on if you want to know how I am letting go of mine and how you can do the same!
Almost every woman experiences some kind of insecurity with their body at some point throughout their life and even though I have had some insecurities throughout my life, I’ve never really felt too insecure about my body, my weight or how I look. That changed after I had my daughter. I’m 5’2″ (sometimes 5’3″ depending on my mood) I am size 6-8 (UK) and have been petite all of my life, so when I got pregnant I was literally all bump. I gained about a stone and a half which was pretty much all Isabella (she was 8lbs 1oz…which was BIG for me!) After I had given birth I was back to my normal size about 20 days after, and I breastfed Isabella until she was one year old. Breastfeeding burns A LOT of calories and helps to get your body get back into the shape it was before, so for me being so small that meant I had to keep my energy alllll the way up! Lack of sleep, a newborn and breastfeeding can drain you of energy so it’s so important to drink plenty and eat nourishing, good foods. I feel I did pretty well at this but it wasn’t until I stopped breastfeeding that the real insecurities hit pretty hard.
It’s been about two months since I stopped breastfeeding and noticed that I am way too thin. I weighed myself and found I am underweight by quite a lot… I’m currently just over 6 stone (84lbs) and when I look in the mirror, I can see my bones and I feel like a skeleton. I have never been this thin before so it has knocked my confidence, my boobs have changed so many times since discovering I was pregnant, throughout the pregnancy and breastfeeding for a year and to how they are now. My stomach is no longer the smooth, tight skinned, stretch mark free zone it used to be…not to mention my butt disappeared (nobody tells you your butt goes after a baby!) which was no fun considering I was actually quite proud of that asset (LOL). All I want now is to be a healthy weight and have some curves… after being pregnant I realised I felt so much better, healthier, more confident, sexier and more fulfilled.
There’s plenty of help for women who want to lose weight but not a great amount of help or advice for women who want to GAIN weight in a healthy way. I think there is a common misconception that women who are petite and thin do not suffer from insecurities and shouldn’t, just because them are slim. Yes, lots of women who are slim are more than happy with their bodies and the same applies to women of all shapes and sizes, which is how it should be! We are all BEAUTIFUL just the way we are!
So….post natal insecurities….how do we LET THEM GO?
Firstly, STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF! I actually feel pretty guilty for shaming and putting my body down just because of a few stretch marks and saggy skin! Our bodies CREATED LIFE! We should be damn PROUD of that and realise just how truly incredible and magnificent our bodies are. My boyfriend repeatedly tells me how beautiful I am and that he actually loves my stomach now, even more than before because I created our beautiful daughter in there! …This took a while for me to accept because I wasn’t loving myself at the time… which brings me on to my next point. LOVE YOURSELF (Yes, Justin Bieber is now in my head too…) When you look at your child, just remember that YOU made them, when you feel that overwhelming, unconditional love you have for them and that you have been blessed with them, remember to give yourself a pat on the back because you brought them into the world. Give credit where credit is due… and that is YOU! Also if you are having difficulty with self love, I recommend mirror work and positive and loving AFFIRMATIONS every day because they are both incredible ways of healing and can really help on the journey to loving yourself. Keeping a POSITIVE MIND always helps me to overcome most obstacles and insecurities I am having because I always remind myself that everything is temporary, which also ignites a massive feeling of appreciation and GRATITUDE for life and all of the blessings you have in your life (past, present and future), not to mention the fact that you are healthy and ALIVE!
Law of attraction has been such an important, life changing part of my life for years now and it is ALWAYS working. So when I was focusing on the way I didn’t want to look, being underweight, being too skinny, I was attracting those things to me and other things alike! I kicked myself for not remembering this sooner because I already knew this! We need to focus on what we WANT and VISUALISE it, see us already having it or looking that way etc… and FEEL IT! There is also one massive thing that has helped me tremendously through not only letting go of my insecurities, but getting up and going after what I want, physically, mentally, spiritually and in every aspect of my life… and that is taking RESPONSIBILITY for being in the position I was and am currently in, and recognising that I am in complete control of changing the outcome to what I want! If I want to gain weight in a healthy way, I’ll make it happen. If I want to start going to the gym and tone up, then I will! The examples are endless and if we all just accept and take responsibility, we can all make it through anything. We are all beautiful, we are all unique and with self love, gratitude and a will to make a change for ourselves, our peace and happiness, we will find a way. Be loving, be patient, be kind to yourself and remember that you are BEAUTIFULLY YOU ♡
Lots of love, Selina ♡